Will Mom Trigger Me? Thanksgiving Stress.
- Arlene : )
- Oct 9
- 4 min read
Updated: Oct 9
Every year around this time, many of us brace ourselves for the same question: “Will my mom push my buttons again this Thanksgiving?” You can replace “mom” with dad, sibling, ex, in-law, or anyone else who somehow manages to activate every emotional trigger in your nervous system the moment you share a table.
For most people, family gatherings are a mix of love and tension — a cocktail of nostalgia, unspoken dynamics, and unresolved emotions. Psychologists call this emotional reactivation, where familiar patterns reignite because our brains associate family members with formative experiences.
According to Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, the nervous system remembers what the mind tries to forget. When you enter the same spaces or conversations that once created emotional distress, your body can relive that stress even when the present moment is safe.
This is why Thanksgiving can feel complicated — you’re not just showing up for dinner; you’re showing up with years of emotional history woven into the tablecloth.
Why It Feels So Awkward to Reconnect
Reconnecting after months (or years) of distance isn’t always easy. Even well-meaning relatives might bring up sensitive topics, offer unsolicited advice, or stir memories you’d rather not revisit. Your heart wants connection, but your body tightens in self-protection.
Psychologist Stephen Porges, who developed Polyvagal Theory, explains that our nervous system constantly scans for cues of safety or threat. A familiar tone of voice, a subtle facial expression, or even a certain silence can activate your body’s stress response. You might notice shallow breathing, tension in your neck, or a sense of emotional fog — all signs that your nervous system is preparing to defend you.
It’s not weakness. It’s wiring.
What’s Happening Inside You
When stress rises, the amygdala — the brain’s emotional alarm system — goes into high alert. Your fight, flight, or freeze responses can take over before you realize it. This is why calm conversations can suddenly turn reactive, or why you leave family dinners feeling drained instead of nourished.
The good news: awareness changes everything. Once you understand that these reactions come from your nervous system trying to protect you, you can learn to self-regulate instead of self-blame.
Tools to Stay Grounded This Thanksgiving
1. Set energetic and emotional boundaries. Before attending any gathering, decide what’s yours to hold and what isn’t. Imagine a light boundary surrounding you — not as a wall, but as a filter that lets in love and keeps out chaos.
2. Use conscious grounding techniques. Take deep, slow breaths into your belly. Feel your feet on the floor. Name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. This brings your nervous system back into the present moment.
3. Pause before reacting. If someone says something triggering, take a sip of water or focus on your breath before responding. Silence is powerful — it interrupts reactive loops.
4. Create an exit strategy. Have your own transportation or a planned time to leave. Sometimes peace is choosing distance without guilt.
5. Recalibrate your energy afterward. After gatherings, it’s normal to feel heavy or energetically scattered. Instead of pushing through, give yourself space to reset. This is where energetic and somatic healing can support you deeply.
A Tool for Deeper Realignment
For those ready to go beyond coping and into transformation, the Ultimate Soul Recalibration offers a full-body reset — helping your nervous system release stress patterns that family dynamics often reignite.
Each recalibration is uniquely guided — no two sessions are the same because no two souls are alike. In every experience, I meet you exactly where you are and work with your energy field to restore balance.
What You’ll Experience Immersive sound healing with tuning forks, sound bowls, and frequencies designed to release energetic blockages. A gemstone healing mat infused with chakra-specific crystals that soothe the body and awaken healing at a cellular level (in-person only). Sacred geometry activations that align your energy field and restore harmony between body and spirit. Energy transference and spirit channeling that bring through guidance, emotional release, and often validation from loved ones in spirit. Complete chakra alignment and integration so you leave feeling centered, lighter, and deeply connected.
Your Next Step You’ve opened the door. Now it’s time to walk through it.
Client Transformations
"Working with Arlene has been nothing short of life-changing for both my husband and me…" — A.M., Scottsdale, AZ
"Arlene saved my life. My energy shifted so profoundly that I manifested and landed my dream job—out of 2,000 applicants." — Sandy N., Google Review
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Final Thoughts
If you’re already wondering whether your mom — or any family member — will push your buttons this Thanksgiving, know that you’re not alone. The discomfort doesn’t mean you’re broken; it means you’re aware. It means your nervous system is awake and trying to keep you safe.
This season, choose peace over performance. Let awareness guide your boundaries, let compassion ground your presence, and let healing replace old survival patterns.
And when you’re ready to move beyond just managing your energy into fully transforming it — the Ultimate Soul Recalibration is waiting to help you realign on every level.
References
Van der Kolk, Bessel A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.
Porges, Stephen W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation.
American Psychological Association. (2023). Managing holiday stress. www.apa.org
Harvard Health Publishing. (2022). How stress affects your body. www.health.harvard.edu
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