Planning Thanksgiving Gatherings: Why Old Wounds Resurface and How to Stay Grounded.
- Arlene : )

- Oct 2
- 3 min read
Updated: Oct 3
Thanksgiving is often pictured as a table full of love, laughter, and pumpkin pie.

But let’s be honest: family gatherings can also bring up stress, anxiety, and emotions you thought you had already worked through.

Suddenly, that sibling rivalry from childhood feels fresh again. A comment from a parent cuts deeper than you expected. Or simply being in the same room with in-laws brings up the kind of tension that makes your body go into fight-or-flight mode.

If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. Many people experience Thanksgiving stress and anxiety when facing family gatherings. The holidays have a unique way of digging up emotions we thought we buried. And while this can feel overwhelming, there are ways to prepare, protect your energy, and stay grounded as you navigate these family dynamics.
Why Thanksgiving Triggers Old Wounds
Shared History: Family members are tied to our earliest experiences — both beautiful and painful. When you gather those memories, don’t stay in the past. They show up in the present.
Unspoken Expectations: Holiday events carry layers of “shoulds.” You should attend. You should forgive and forget. You should play along for the sake of the family. These expectations create pressure and stir up guilt.
The Mirror Effect: Families are mirrors. They reflect unresolved lessons, wounds, and insecurities we may not face elsewhere. That’s why a simple holiday dinner can feel emotionally charged.
Recognizing the Emotional Build-Up
Notice the signals your body sends: tightness in your chest as you RSVP, sleepless nights leading up to the dinner, anxiety about “who will be there,” or old resentments resurfacing. These are signs of unresolved emotions rising to the surface. When this happens, it’s your body’s way of saying healing is still waiting to happen.
How to Stay Grounded During Family Gatherings
1. Get Clear on Your Boundaries. Ask yourself: Do I really want to attend? If yes, how long will I stay? What conversations or topics are off-limits for me? Setting boundaries gives you strength before you even walk through the door.
2. Ground Your Energy Grounding practices help you stay centered no matter what’s happening around you. Try a 10-minute meditation before the gathering, journal your intentions for how you want to show up, or use breathing exercises during stressful moments. For deeper grounding, my Ultimate Recalibration Experience ($299) helps you release stored tension and reset your energy so you’re not carrying everyone else’s baggage into the room.
3. Choose Conscious Responses, Not Reactions. When a triggering moment happens, pause. Take a breath before you speak. You may not control others, but you can control how you show up.
4. Get Spiritual Support Sometimes we need perspective beyond ourselves.
An Intuitive Reading can help you decide: Should I go? Should I reconnect with that parent, sibling, or in-law? Or would staying away serve my highest good this year?
A reading can also highlight what’s truly yours to carry — and what you can finally put down. Book an Intuitive Reading here.
5. Prepare Exit Strategies Give yourself permission to leave early if you need to. Drive yourself, have a backup plan, or line up a safe space to retreat to.
6. Focus on What You Can Control. You can’t rewrite family history at one dinner. But you can control your own energy, choices, and healing.

Turning Messy Holidays Into Opportunities for Growth
Yes, Thanksgiving can feel messy. But it’s also a mirror showing you what’s ready to heal. When old wounds resurface, see them as opportunities to practice boundaries, release expectations, and choose yourself — even in family settings. And you don’t have to do this alone.
My offerings are designed to support you in exactly these moments:
Ultimate Recalibration Experience ($299): One hour and 40 minutes to release old wounds, reset your nervous system, and walk into family gatherings with grounded confidence. Book Here
Intuitive Readings ($55-149): Gain clarity on decisions about attending events, reconnecting with loved ones, or simply navigating the emotions that surface this season. Book Here.
Final Thoughts

Thanksgiving doesn’t have to leave you drained or anxious. By preparing ahead of time, setting boundaries, and seeking spiritual tools for support, you can enter the holiday season feeling empowered — no matter what dynamics arise. Remember: you are not responsible for healing the entire family. You are responsible for your own peace, growth, and alignment. And when you honor that, the season becomes lighter, more joyful, and truly yours.




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